I had a wonderful time with Pastor Bernie last night. After going through and surviving my crazy sked and jumbled activities for the first half of the year, Its just comforting to actually stop and reflect on what has been happening in my life - especially that I was with someone whose spiritual eyes are really open.

Pastor Bern and I talked about a million and one things -from my the new "career" that I’ve received from God, to my family - good things about us, our strongholds, and even what the Lord really wants me to be for them; my insecurities and deceptions that I encounter as His servant, etc.

For instance, there were things that I thought would be so boastful of me to even dare speak (being a Lorenzana-at least how this name is known in my church), yet looking at it in a different perspective, its actually honoring my roots, and not just acknowledging and owning the name that I carry in selfish pride.

I found out further that I am not placed in a closely knit family to stay silent when I know things aren’t right nor act as if I know better than the rest of them. I was made part of my family so that I could serve a purpose which He has already designed. That I just have open my eyes and hear when the Lord speaks.

I really enjoyed how the night transpired from talking about the serious stuff, to things that are a bit lighter. Its an experience that captures the current highlights of my life and understanding it in a different way. Thanks to Pastor Bern!

I’m thankful that God did not just make Rev Bernadette A. Morales my pastor and spiritual mentor, He also made her my good friend. =)

Anticipation. It can weigh you down. Don’t you feel the stress when you’re waiting for the result of an important exam or the result of your performance evaluation at work? Don’t you find yourself tapping your fingers on the table or constantly checking on your watch and phone while waiting for someone in a resto or perhaps in a coffee shop? Or you’re dying to hear from someone, so you made it a conscious habit to check If someone texted or even miss called like every ten minutes? Anticipating something to happen or someone to say or do things challenges the power of patience.

Why am I saying this? Because my patience is currently being challenged by time and faith. I know something is about to happen. I can feel it within. I can almost hear the Lord saying "Wait and you shall see". But being a semi patient and also a semi stubborn person, I constantly ask God questions like -"Lord, are we there yet?" Ü And He says, "No, just a bit more patience and faith, in My Time, we will be." And I say: "But when Lord?"

I know that I’m not the only who feels this kind of emotion. Being a former super drama queen, I struggle not to give certain seemingly too good a scenario an overrated interpretation. I leave it as it is and even at a given time, I tend to ignore it - just to manage my expectations.

Lord, are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are are there yet?………

We’re going home in less than a week! Its definitely depressing! We’re making the most out of the remaining days that we get to be with ate kats and jojo.  We will be counting one and a half years before we could see them again. But heck, at least we had a really nice time together this year. =)

Pero haay…. it will be back to work again next week. it really makes me sad. Oh w ell…